in the overwhelming moments of this first day home from the hospital, counting gifts.  remembering his goodness.

19.  dinner from a friend our first night home.
20. a good nights sleep in my own bed.
21.  a little boy who learned how to sleep in his own bed all night.  one good thing from being in the hospital all week.
22. free coffee.
23.  what could have been a major (and expensive) insurance snaffu was just a minor issue.
24.  our pediatrician.  i just love her and how much she cares for her patients.
25.  that my mom wasn't out here when she got this sick.
26. emails from sweet girls checking on us.
27. dinner from a friend our 2nd night home.  otherwise we were all eating graham crackers and yogurt.
28. warm sunshine, if just for a few minutes.
29. a 2 1/2 year old who's feeling a bit adventurous and climbing on everything today, but reassuring me "I being careful, mama"
29. snuggles with the big brother before nap time.



one of my goals for the new year to is count 1000 gifts.  there doesn't seem like a better week to start than this week.

1. great staff at urgent care who saw us quickly
2. urgent care doctor who told me there was pretty much no way my nursing baby could have the flu and relieved my guilt over not getting the flu shot.
3.  the calmest emt in the ambulance.  made me realize i would be terrible at that job.
4. our nurses for the first 2 days, sara and sarah.  These ladies have taken such good care of us and explained everything so well to us.
5.  wall suction machines.  so much better than a bulb syrenge.
6. hospital ice
7. playing cars with hudson.  i've never enjoyed it more than i did today.
8. a friend who brought me coffee on her way to an appointment and a friend who offered to.  so sweet of these girls to think of me during their busy days.
9. friends who will watch hudson over night with very little notice and take him again so mike could come for a quick visit.
10.  a friend cooking dinner for my family when I couldn't.
11. a friend sitting at our house while hudson slept so mike could come for a visit.
12. beautiful weather and a quick walk in the park
13.  getting to help a sweet old man, henry, while he was waiting for his ride.  so glad i had my phone with so i could make a phone call for him.
14. oxygen and ivs and great medical care to make miles better.
15. sweet emails and texts from family and friends letting us know they're praying for us.
16.  mike's job that allows him to just take off work no problem.
17. a big brother who thinks chocolate milk is the best treat ever and who is handling all of this amazingly well.
18.  mike and i have no symptoms yet.  so thankful that i'm at my best to take care of miles.


hello bandwagon...room for me?

I know it seems like everyone is picking their one word for 2013.  I don't usually jump on the blogging bandwagons, but this is actually something I have been thinking about since November. 

I was cooking or baking something in the kitchen some afternoon in November and listening to my favorite new group, All Sons and Daughters.  I was struck by the lyrics to their song "You Have Called Me Higher"

I could just sit
I could just sit and wait for all your goodness
Hope to feel your presence
And I could just stay
I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel you
Hope to feel something again

And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down

But you have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I will go where you will lead me Lord

i really felt like this is where i'm at.  life is good and i feel connected to God at some level.  but then i felt like i heard God say to me that he wanted more and that my word for 2013 is

so that's what i'm after this year.  a deeper relationship with god.  a deeper relationship with the word.  deeper relationship with mike and with the boys and with our lifegroup.


farewell 2012

ahh 2012.  you were a great year, fulling of wonderful memories and blessings.  you were also a year that i feel like i missed out on a lot.  pregnancy and i are not the best of friends and not only did i have morning sickness the entire 39 weeks (thank you zofran for your wonderful magical powers), but i always tend to want to withdraw when i'm pregnant. 

i'm excited for 2013 and a fresh start.  i know it's going to be a bit of a crazy year, learning how to parent 2 kiddos.  i'm giving myself a lot of grace these first few months, but i do have some goals, if i can ever find time to sit down and think about them.

here are my five favorite memories from the last year:

1.  finding out i was pregnant:  i love the beginning of miles' story.  hearing the lord tell me to take a pregnancy test, even though i had just taken one the week before and it was negative.  getting to tell the girls that night, and their joy, knowing how long of a road it had been.

2. surprising mike's mom with a visit:  it was so much fun seeing her face when hudson and i walked through the door and then her face when we shared that hudson was going to be a big brother.  i am constantly reminded how blessed i am with this wonderful family, especially my mother-in-law.

3. family road trip/camping trip:  quite possibly my favorite week of my life ever.  ok maybe the honeymoon trumps this, but we had so much fun as a little family of three.  it wasn't without it's challenges (bear and snake on a hike, sun setting at 10 pm), but getting to see hudson's face when he discovered all these new things was so worth it. 

4. girls weekend in grand lake:  so much fun and so relaxing.  i love love these girls and it was so great to just get away.  a fun little surprise baby shower was also great.  i love thinking back at how much we've grown as a group and how our friendships have matured these last few years.

5. miles' birth:  obviously this one is on the list.  it was crazy fast and so different from hudson's labor and birth, but there is nothing better than those first few moments after birth.  it's just so miraculous.